We seek refuge in Allah against satan the cursed one,
Bissimillahi Rahmani Rahimi
Opening:
"And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may live in tranquility with them; and He has brought between you love and mercy. Truly, in this are signs for those who reflect." (Qur'an 30:21)
Marriage is based on mutual love and respect. The Islamic marriage is a sacred contract between a willing woman and willing man. There can be no compulsion, and each party is free to include its own terms, with justice and total sincerity (as defined in Islam). The woman keeps her family name and her marriage gift from the union. A Muslim marriage is completed with public festivities reflecting culture and customs, to the limits of the religious ethics.
Husbands and wives are protectors of each other. They are equal partners and best friends, remaining faithful to one another.
The husband provides, maintains, protects and is responsible for the family. He fulfills his duties with consultation and kindness. While the wife is not required to share her wealth and earnings, she may help her husband, especially in some circumstances, where her contribution may help strengthen their relationship. Both spouses work can together in the home - cooking and cleaning. In many Muslim countries, these tasks are often assigned to women due to the financial responsibilities placed on the husband. But ultimately it is up to the couple to come up with a choice that works the best for the couple. Raising good children is however an obligation placed on both husband and women, although the religious education goes primarily to the husband.
If couples are unable to live with one another peacefully, amicable divorce is permitted as a last resort. Mothers are given priority in the custody of children.
Prophet Muhammad (may peace and blessings of God be upon him) said: "Treat women well and be kind to them; they are your partners and committed helpers."
Understanding the importance of marriage is a crucial matter, especially at a time, where we witness that the aspects of marriage are often overlooked by many people. So Inch Allah, we ask Allah to grant us good knowledge of Islam and time for our Din, and may He make His religion easy on us forever (Amin!). Now let's get to the main section, and we hope Inch Allah it will be useful to all our fellow readers...
It is true that in general Islam is not primary in favor for marriage between two individuals completely strangers to each other. There is no doubt that marriage is a decision that should be considered seriously before taking action. But let's also be remindful that the prophet (peace upon him) who has strongly recommended us to get married as soon as possible. For those who can't afford marriage, he advises them to practice some voluntary fasting, so they can develop self control and get rid of the negative temptations. These temptations from inner thoughts and low desires are indeed the tools that satan uses to weaken many step by step. Of course, what makes the situation more critical is the corrupted world that we life in. The environment has a direct impact on the individual; so if much effort is not done by trying to control our frequentation, then most likely the evil gates will open up for the advantage of satan. The desire for a mate is one of the weapons that satan uses scrupulously to deceive many folks. That being said, when one is married, he or she gets the blessing of Allah in his/her matrimonial relationship by fulfilling an important Sunna of the prophet(puh).
At the time of the prophet (peace upon him) and the early generations that follow, people were more attached to the traditions of marriage. Nowadays, most people do not have much patient when it comes to marriage. Yet iit is undeniable that in order to have a successful marriage we need justice, compassion, honesty, tolerance and patience are all essential elements or keys for success in marriage. A couple rightly guided towards these principles highly regarded in Islam, will indeed have a happy and successful marriage (with the help of Allah). It must be also noted that a matrimony well established in accordance to Islam, and in the best of our possibility is a form of worship that we get greatly rewarded for. That being said there is no such thing as perfect marriage since we are all far from perfection. Normally this is something that we shouldn't have to tell Muslims because the Quran and the hadith(s) of the prophet(pbuh) remind us constantly how we should view this life is in contrast to the hereafter. As Muslims we recognize that humans should go through the up(s) and down(s) of this life while trying to comply with the teachings of the beloved prophet(pbuh), in order to benefit in the hereafter. And in fact if mankind cannot achieve 100 percent happiness in their lifetime, how can anyone expect for a perfect marriage..? This is something that we should seriously reflect on.
Now let's point out that normally visits between two people who desire to get married are not prohibited but it should be some restrictions until marriage. However, we can imagine that in a world, where patience is a problem for many, limiting the means of communication between partners before the marriage may result to a failed marriage, due to lack of communication, especially among folks from different cultures. But by the grace of Allah, technology has brought forth different means of communications, which could be substitutes for restricting visits. These communications methods can help us get more familiar with the one we seek for marriage without violating religious principles. Naturally, this is only true as long as we don't exaggerate to an extent that may lead to something prohibited. We must therefore use cautious in the information presented.
Now as mentioned in the beginning, if due to economical situation, someone is not ready for marriage, he or she should get more involved in religious activities during his free time to keep himself busy. And as it is reported from the prophet(pbuh), voluntary fasting is also one of the best ways to control desires, because it purifies internally. One should also watch his or her frequentation to reduce the possibilities of being caught up into an undesirable situation. These principles applied to both married and single individual. We have to realize that if we want Allah to purify us, our faith and good intentions should reflect on our conduct. Let's be conscious that whatever sin that we make, will distant us from Almighty God, until we ask for sincere forgiveness. And naturally we have to avoid the continuous repetition of the sin after repentance.
In order to get close to Allah and have a smooth access towards His paradises, with his grace, we have to strive harder in the straight path and fight evil temptations (i.e complying with the teachings of Allah's beloved prophet Muhammad, peace upon him). We need to know that, even if all mankind would agree right now on making many sins in the regular basis, it would not disturb Allah a bit. Allah has stated in the Quran that whether we follow guidance or not we only benefit ourselves, because He is self sufficient. All of us depend on Almighty God, whether they are aware of it or not. So let's remember that His reward is priceless while His wrath is beyond any torment…
So in summary, we'll remind that marriage is an act of worship. It is also a blessing that closes many gates of satan. Therefore, we should consume it according to sharia as soon as possible. Upon agreement of both parties, wedding should be done at the first occasion.
We apologize for any misunderstanding or unclear message we may have delivered due to our imperfections. We urge you to let us know if you need any additional clarifications. Let's restate that our intention is just to conduct positive information on Islam; and may be you can pass it on to someone who needs it. It is certain that knowledge (i.e true guidance) is a property of Allah; He gives it to His servants so they may act upon it and spread it . I am ending here with a Hadith of the prophet that explains why it is important to educate people about the Din. The hadith said some scholars will be troubled on the Day of Judgment, because they kept the religious knowledge for themselves and did not share it with those who ignored it and needed guidance (May Allah save us from falling into that category, Amin). Wassalam!
Note: the following link clarifies ten popular misconceptions about Islam. It also gives access to a vast database on hadiths of the prophet, reported by Imam Buhari, Imam Muslim and some others famous and recognized scholars.
http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/notislam/misconceptions.html#HEADING1
