Islam and mariage

We seek refuge in Allah against satan the cursed one,
Bissimillahi Rahmani Rahimi

Opening:
"And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may live in tranquility with them; and He has brought between you love and mercy. Truly, in this are signs for those who reflect." (Qur'an 30:21)

Marriage is based on mutual love and respect. The Islamic marriage is a sacred contract between a willing woman and willing man. There can be no compulsion, and each party is free to include its own terms, with justice and total sincerity (as defined in Islam). The woman keeps her family name and her marriage gift from the union. A Muslim marriage is completed with public festivities reflecting culture and customs, to the limits of the religious ethics.

Husbands and wives are protectors of each other. They are equal partners and best friends, remaining faithful to one another.
The husband provides, maintains, protects and is responsible for the family. He fulfills his duties with consultation and kindness. While the wife is not required to share her wealth and earnings, she may help her husband, especially in some circumstances, where her contribution may help strengthen their relationship. Both spouses work can together in the home - cooking and cleaning. In many Muslim countries, these tasks are often assigned to women due to the financial responsibilities placed on the husband. But ultimately it is up to the couple to come up with a choice that works the best for the couple. Raising good children is however an obligation placed on both husband and women, although the religious education goes primarily to the husband.

If couples are unable to live with one another peacefully, amicable divorce is permitted as a last resort. Mothers are given priority in the custody of children.

Prophet Muhammad (may peace and blessings of God be upon him) said: "Treat women well and be kind to them; they are your partners and committed helpers."

Understanding the importance of marriage is a crucial matter, especially at a time, where we witness that the aspects of marriage are often overlooked by many people. So Inch Allah, we ask Allah to grant us good knowledge of Islam and time for our Din, and may He make His religion easy on us forever (Amin!). Now let's get to the main section, and we hope Inch Allah it will be useful to all our fellow readers...

It is true that in general Islam is not primary in favor for marriage between two individuals completely strangers to each other. There is no doubt that marriage is a decision that should be considered seriously before taking action. But let's also be remindful that the prophet (peace upon him) who has strongly recommended us to get married as soon as possible. For those who can't afford marriage, he advises them to practice some voluntary fasting, so they can develop self control and get rid of the negative temptations. These temptations from inner thoughts and low desires are indeed the tools that satan uses to weaken many step by step. Of course, what makes the situation more critical is the corrupted world that we life in. The environment has a direct impact on the individual; so if much effort is not done by trying to control our frequentation, then most likely the evil gates will open up for the advantage of satan. The desire for a mate is one of the weapons that satan uses scrupulously to deceive many folks. That being said, when one is married, he or she gets the blessing of Allah in his/her matrimonial relationship by fulfilling an important Sunna of the prophet(puh).
At the time of the prophet (peace upon him) and the early generations that follow, people were more attached to the traditions of marriage. Nowadays, most people do not have much patient when it comes to marriage. Yet iit is undeniable that in order to have a successful marriage we need justice, compassion, honesty, tolerance and patience are all essential elements or keys for success in marriage. A couple rightly guided towards these principles highly regarded in Islam, will indeed have a happy and successful marriage (with the help of Allah). It must be also noted that a matrimony well established in accordance to Islam, and in the best of our possibility is a form of worship that we get greatly rewarded for. That being said there is no such thing as perfect marriage since we are all far from perfection. Normally this is something that we shouldn't have to tell Muslims because the Quran and the hadith(s) of the prophet(pbuh) remind us constantly how we should view this life is in contrast to the hereafter. As Muslims we recognize that humans should go through the up(s) and down(s) of this life while trying to comply with the teachings of the beloved prophet(pbuh), in order to benefit in the hereafter. And in fact if mankind cannot achieve 100 percent happiness in their lifetime, how can anyone expect for a perfect marriage..? This is something that we should seriously reflect on.

Now let's point out that normally visits between two people who desire to get married are not prohibited but it should be some restrictions until marriage. However, we can imagine that in a world, where patience is a problem for many, limiting the means of communication between partners before the marriage may result to a failed marriage, due to lack of communication, especially among folks from different cultures. But by the grace of Allah, technology has brought forth different means of communications, which could be substitutes for restricting visits. These communications methods can help us get more familiar with the one we seek for marriage without violating religious principles. Naturally, this is only true as long as we don't exaggerate to an extent that may lead to something prohibited. We must therefore use cautious in the information presented.
Now as mentioned in the beginning, if due to economical situation, someone is not ready for marriage, he or she should get more involved in religious activities during his free time to keep himself busy. And as it is reported from the prophet(pbuh), voluntary fasting is also one of the best ways to control desires, because it purifies internally. One should also watch his or her frequentation to reduce the possibilities of being caught up into an undesirable situation. These principles applied to both married and single individual. We have to realize that if we want Allah to purify us, our faith and good intentions should reflect on our conduct. Let's be conscious that whatever sin that we make, will distant us from Almighty God, until we ask for sincere forgiveness. And naturally we have to avoid the continuous repetition of the sin after repentance.
In order to get close to Allah and have a smooth access towards His paradises, with his grace, we have to strive harder in the straight path and fight evil temptations (i.e complying with the teachings of Allah's beloved prophet Muhammad, peace upon him). We need to know that, even if all mankind would agree right now on making many sins in the regular basis, it would not disturb Allah a bit. Allah has stated in the Quran that whether we follow guidance or not we only benefit ourselves, because He is self sufficient. All of us depend on Almighty God, whether they are aware of it or not. So let's remember that His reward is priceless while His wrath is beyond any torment…
So in summary, we'll remind that marriage is an act of worship. It is also a blessing that closes many gates of satan. Therefore, we should consume it according to sharia as soon as possible. Upon agreement of both parties, wedding should be done at the first occasion.

We apologize for any misunderstanding or unclear message we may have delivered due to our imperfections. We urge you to let us know if you need any additional clarifications. Let's restate that our intention is just to conduct positive information on Islam; and may be you can pass it on to someone who needs it. It is certain that knowledge (i.e true guidance) is a property of Allah; He gives it to His servants so they may act upon it and spread it . I am ending here with a Hadith of the prophet that explains why it is important to educate people about the Din. The hadith said some scholars will be troubled on the Day of Judgment, because they kept the religious knowledge for themselves and did not share it with those who ignored it and needed guidance (May Allah save us from falling into that category, Amin). Wassalam!

Note: the following link clarifies ten popular misconceptions about Islam. It also gives access to a vast database on hadiths of the prophet, reported by Imam Buhari, Imam Muslim and some others famous and recognized scholars.

http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/notislam/misconceptions.html#HEADING1

Idea behind hijab and Muslim women's dress

We start by seeking refuge in Allah against satan the cursed creature,

Bismillah Rahmani rahim.

What many misinformed people ignore about Islam is the fact women do have a very important status in the Muslim community. Women are like protected pearls, and for that reason Allah wants them to keep the essential of their beauty private so they'll remain pure and well respected. Thus anything that display attraction, which may catch people attention (other than the face) should be kept private between husband and wife, since that such exposure is not intended to the public. For those that are not married, the next paragraph will point out why appropriate clothing is always a must.

First of all the true fact is unlike women with Muslims dress and hijab, the ladies that wear short dress will be more likely approached by men, regardless whether they are interested or not. And since we live in a world of total autonomy, where numbers of individuals consider themselves open minded without limit, it is not surprising that the most outraging dress may seem to be totally fine for many people. And as a result of this it is very common now to see that women would wear anything in public. Yet without even being much religious, if we would just think objectively for a second, we’ll notice easily the lack of morality behind this attitude. Crimes like sexual abuses, raped women and others are committed yearly by desperate perverts, who are totally controlled by their desire for women and lust. But if we consider what have really led them to commit those insanities, we'll find out that the main cause is the condition of the world we live in today. If sexual scandale is the casual reality in many places, how can we expect people to care for dignity and purity? It's evident that if these basic moral values are rejected, this rejection will naturally reflect on the way people clothe themselves. What's more absurd is how they would try to get noticed by an outside public they don’t even know. In other occasions, some people go beyond that, trying to use their body as a mean for seduction and possible "hook up". Now this will not be the intention of all the ladies of course, but humans have the tendency to copy on their environment and particularly on those within their immediate entourage. So if we do not have good religious orientation, we'll usually follow others that are supposedly considered the examples or models in our eyes. And this is where satan's trick comes from, because by trying to look like others, we end up falling in the same category... There are women who may feel annoyed sometimes when someone keeps looking at them, and this could be more disturbing if they are married. But because of the way they dress, some folks will not hesitate to throw attentive eyes at their body, or go beyond that. It is true that people should learn about seIf control and disciple, but as recognized in Islam men that look at women are not the only ones to blame here. Because the behaviour of numbers of women show clearly their lack of self esteem in term of purity. Therefore they may claim that they are not trying to show off in public, but their actions remain very contradictory. Now these provocative ways of clothing have become so spread and common that almost all new generations would often dress similarly in accordance to whatever fashion is current. So it will be hard to change that type of mentality. However there is no doubt that the teachings of Islam could make a serious impact on this issue. The wisdom behind its religious laws (e.g Islamic dress code and others) can establish the turning point needed to resolve the different crises of society; Allah knows what is best for his servants. Therefore the believing women of Islam are supposed to be the exemplary women with dignity, who display decent appearance and respectable virtues; and consequently they would not cause the indiscreet ones to star at them... Now it's obvious that governments have a long way to go on the fight against abused women, and statistics have shown that they are far from reaching any satisfying results. Yet isn't it true that if the majority of women in this world could adopt an Islamic attitude, the rate of harassment will radically climb down..? (We'll let the concerned folks ponder on this idea).

It is well known that certain Muslims sisters, especially the ones living in Muslim countries, do hesitate sometimes when it comes to wearing hijab or the right dress. But I (the author) would personally hope that this present article will definitely set their mind free and make them understand that the contribution of every woman could help in making a change in the condition of women. Yet in the sight of Allah this will be only beneficial to them, because it will protect further them from satan and save them in the hereafter from being among the ones who neglect this command of Allah.

In brief, Islam is the religious alternative that will efficiently secure society. With its fair model that disciple men and women, it will bring to a rapid end many crimes and injustices against women, while still giving to them a status and honor. This fact can be verified from the positive outlook which Islam establishes in the social relationship between the two genders. The Quran and hadith(s) of the prophet Muhammed(pbuh) provide wide information on this topic. This is all acurate information that a misinformed individual would not know about Islam; that's why we urge everyone to learn about the religion from its original source and not from a pamphlet published by someone seeking for a bad propaganda of Islam Wassalam!

Statistics of Abuse women in the U.S
http://www.letswrap.com/dvinfo/

For more information on Islam and how it interacts with society, go to the following link

http://realdin.blogspot.com/

Note: the following link clarifies ten popular misconceptions about Islam
http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/notislam/misconceptions.html#HEADING1